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#41 Tunduzi

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 07:40 PM

Do men check out/ size up other men as much as sistas check out other sistas... if so, what are you 'checking up' for. e.g. When I see another sista, I might look at her hair and think hmm, lovely natural hair or what's going on with the weave sis? etc

In terms of potential threat I guess. It's my job. I automatically size everybody up to see if I can handle them or how many of them I can handle. I can do this while smiling pleasantly and saying hello. Some men grasp your hand in certain ways like you think they are trying to exercise somekind of power or feeling you out through your grip. This amuses me.

If you mean do I ever admire other dudes then no not really. I don't care for fashion so unless you wearing something rather odd I wouldn't notice and I certainly don't consider another mans looks, good or bad.


NB: Don't lie and say how you guys never look at other men (and dont' read any homosexual overtones into it either!)

But I don't though! I only notice dudes if something gets my attention to annoy me. Like the dude spending his giro at the bar trying to impress some schoolgirl. Or the dude with S-Curl and shades in a nightclub posing with a cigar he ain't ever gonna smoke. I look at things like that and shake my head.

Is it true that men love to gossip as much as women?

Dunno. We do gossip though, can't deny that. Whoever is not present in a crew is getting spoken about LOL. We will cuss and plan how to chastise the absent member when we collectively see them.

Do brothas care about making an effort to look good for their woman as much as we sistas do? If not, why not?

You do because you won't get no woman if you are messy. And if you have one then you will listen to a big long lecture about how you don't care anymore so yes. I don't we make as much of an effort no but certainly an effort is made.

I know that the way to 100% of African men's hearts is through their stomach. I think this is a fairly indisputable fact, but how many brothas regularly cook for their woman and are GOOD cooks at that? Is this something men view as the 'woman's job'?

Lived by self for 10 years now. Am fairly confident in kitchen. Do I cook for my woman? Yes of course seeing as I normally cook most days anyway. You are right though. It IS a good way to impress a dude.

I read a news story a few days ago about a couple who were attacked by a racist thug in Wales(?). The thug attacked the brotha first and floored him so the sista started to attack the bluefoot full throttle (you know how us sistas stay). Anyway, in the event of this happening to a brotha, would you prefer your woman to attend to you lying on the floor or do what this sista did and try to beat up the attacker?

In terms of safety I'd rather she didn't get hurt. Who wants their partner boxed up? If he floored me then it's best you stay out of it for your sake. People carry knives and all sorts these days and fights with racist random attackers are not what they used to be alas...

If you mean about a pride thing, Am I too proud to let her help me then no I'm not. I saw a guy getting whacked by four guys outside a club once and his girl came running out of the chip shop and started fighting with his attackers. Once she did others joined in to defend her but I was filled with admiration for her rather than scorn for her man. I would be proud of her for that.


And one more thing... what is with brothers who relax their hair? It's blasphemous!

Yes it is and I don't know what's up with them but I have read several explainations. Some rather far fetched others quite telling.

#42 Incognito

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 07:54 PM

QUOTE (Voo @ Jan 13 2006, 12:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Do men check out/ size up other men as much as sistas check out other sistas... if so, what are you 'checking up' for. e.g. When I see another sista, I might look at her hair and think hmm, lovely natural hair or what's going on with the weave sis? etc

NB: Don't lie and say how you guys never look at other men (and dont' read any homosexual overtones into it either!)

Not me Voo - though it's amusing when you see a fine sista and look around at other men pretending not to see her then turn and have a glance on the sly. Even more humorous when she is so fine even other women have to look smile.gif


Is it true that men love to gossip as much as women? biggrin.gif

Hey, men watch Eastenders too. I'm more one to simply talk rather than gossip - gossip meaning a way of trying to make your life seem as less miserable than it really is, or at least gaining security from the idea that someone is worse off than you. What I do find interesting though is how women can argue all day on the Eastender level i.e who said this, who said that, who bought this, who boufght that, who lent this who lent that etc, yet when it comes to dealing with the fundamentals and the root cause they haven't got an answer....hmmm, maybe they've got an answer for the judge biggrin.gif

Do brothas care about making an effort to look good for their woman as much as we sistas do? If not, why not?

Not me. Prided myself on not doing anything deliberate to attract the opposite sex...I wouldn't even wear aftershave, got nothing to prove to any of them.....not that insecure. I'm proud to a fault, things like my children having to live in a house their parents provided as opposed to the parents living in their childrens meant a lot to me. Got too many losers who spent their lives squatting in babymamma grotto's only to wake up one day and find they haven't even got dry sh!t in their arse and are left withn no alternative but to run to the system provided rooftop bawling 'It's time for a revolution!' - dyam wotliss these punks are exactly where their parents said they would be.

Selfish maybe but I only have two requests for a woman, sorry, my woman; don't get fat and expect to go out with me, which is a big problem for women who can't face up to reality. I know one who you told was fat and she'll be in denial - invite her on a holiday and all of a sudden she has to go to the gym to look good in a bikini - right, so before the thought of the holiday you looked ok in thongs then did you biggrin.gif. Different though after childbirth. The other request is don't be out with me in public with your brief on show. If you have to tell a woman this too many times, she either has altzhiemers or thinks you're a c**t laugh.gif

Other than eating pu$$y, my woman will get everything she needs in a man, just have to make sure she is my women first cause I don't do nowt by half - not even half daddy. Many men have to fake their lives to make their women feel attracted to them because they know otherwise they'll have nowhere to live and like most brothas they all wanna run a motor car - ironically to catch more pu$$y - dyam wotliss!. Couldn't live like that myself, it'll make you do things that you don't believe in.....like getting married smile.gif


I know that the way to 100% of African men's hearts is through their stomach. I think this is a fairly indisputable fact, but how many brothas regularly cook for their woman and are GOOD cooks at that? Is this something men view as the 'woman's job'?

As the bringers of life I believe it's a womans duty to nurture....and a man to help provide the environment for her to do so. Love a woman who wants to provide that environment herself but if it means feeding your children with ham sandwiches, you're with the wrong bloke. I'll more cook out of necessity. saying that, it has been my new years resolution for about the last four years to learn to cook...even built myself a kitchen to help. Well December last year I cooked my first pot of rice and made a lamb stew - even had to snap it on my camera phone. It was quite funny, I caught myself in the mirror and with my bald head I saw Ainsley Harriot in the reflection to bl***cl**t! clap.gif

I read a news story a few days ago about a couple who were attacked by a racist thug in Wales(?). The thug attacked the brotha first and floored him so the sista started to attack the bluefoot full throttle (you know how us sistas stay). Anyway, in the event of this happening to a brotha, would you prefer your woman to attend to you lying on the floor or do what this sista did and try to beat up the attacker?


Women shouldn't be hitting on men but if it's your man on the ground why not. In the revers situation, would I hit a woman who just floored my girl. Men shouldn't be hitting on woman period, pride myself in never having done so - tell a lie, gave a dig in the ribs as a warning shot once as a means of showing why I wouldn't want to hit out but it fell on hard ears sad.gif Other than that, I have had to man-handle a coot or two and even then only when they come run up in my face/personal space - most men I know have done so too in the heat of domestic affairs - I guess in the same way I've had to man-handle my son which most parents will tell you they even surprised themself when doing it. Another friend I grew up with said he grabbed his girl by the throat and was holding it good for a few seconds - when he looked down he realised her feet were off the ground - would you call that hitting a woman? Many wouldn't but if nothing else it tells you she isn't your girl smile.gif....a' better she gwaan! smile.gif

I digress...Would I hit the other woman, naah, I'd try to be more subtle, probably just flick her bottom lip and make it bleed laugh.gif .

Edited by Incognito, 13 January 2006 - 11:57 PM.


#43 Tunduzi

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 08:04 PM

Incognito

LMAO

Man... you too much!! laugh.gif

#44 Incognito

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 09:00 PM

SoberSimian

Hey there are only two things you need in life, guidance from the higher force and a sense of humour smile.gif - if you have friends and family as well count it as a bonus clap.gif

Here's some advice. Watch out for people who haven't the belly to do what they want to do and need you to do it so society makes you look like the aggressor and them look like the ones on the recieving end i.e innocent.

@Voo

As for watching other men?, not to be confused with watching them watching you laugh.gif

#45 PantherWoman

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Posted 14 January 2006 - 05:42 PM

QUOTE (SoberSimian @ Jan 13 2006, 08:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Incognito

LMAO

Man... you too much!! laugh.gif


I actually didn't find any of that funny. This guy come in like FredBlack's younger brother or something. Incognito...I'm getting a sense that you have quite a bit of contempt for women. Are you from the "the majority of Black/African women these days ain't worth shit" camp?

It just seems that you usually have some fairly negative things to say when it comes to discussing women. Maybe I've got it all wrong and you're just a really funny geezer... and I have no sense of humour.

#46 Incognito

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Posted 14 January 2006 - 07:43 PM

Pantherwoman - Thanks for asking smile.gif

I was never a ladies man as in pum pum never run me so I tend to have a different perspective on things like love and romance.

I admire women who can go against the grain and are brave enough not to conform to the common mould. I'm also a man of the mind and find most women prefer to deal with men who have semen for brains as it gives them something to hide behind instead of facing themselves.

I find I get on with Aries women more (I'm an Aries myself) as they usually appreciate how my thought process is derived even if they don't agree with it and can relate to it enough to give another perspective as opposed to seeing it as woman bashing - and I don't even believe in star signs smile.gif

I have to love your mind first before any emotion comes to the fore. I love uniqueness and exclusivity so you can imagine how difficult it is looking for the woman that is different from the rest and all you see is Eastenders smile.gif

Love women, adore African women I just don't have time for common opinion - especially as a means of being accepted....and that goes for men as well. As such I live my life prepared and ready to do battle on my own which means I have no problem forming and expressing my own opinions. It also means I have to be independant or at least self determined which means I usually get anything I set out to get as I don't expect ybody else to get it for me - doesn't mean I don't welcome help and companionship but with my mentality, worse case scenario I'm in this on my own.

As far as negativity goes, that's all part of the package, it's just my persuasion. I tend to think worse case scenario (usually death) and work from there onwards and also have a cynical sense of humour which is probably different to the sense of humour you have. But don't sweat on it, I'm simply one person with his own mentality in this big wide world.

Panther woman, if it helps I have a female friend who is the first woman I know who knows her bearings when driving but she still can't park without grazing up the wheels on the curb laugh.gif But if I'm really honest, the only women who have a problem are those with whom my comments touch too close to home. Other than being a bit more diplomatic, that's their problem not mine.

oops...and one more thing, for the record, from what I've read, FredB is an inspiration!

Edited by Incognito, 14 January 2006 - 07:59 PM.


#47 Sooofresh

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Posted 15 January 2006 - 12:33 PM

Incognito wrote

I admire women who can go against the grain and are brave enough not to conform to the common mould.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LOL

since when,

judging by your posts you like the opposite of what you wrote above

common mould................. biggrin.gif

@Pantherwomen

welcome back sis.

#48 Incognito

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Posted 15 January 2006 - 05:15 PM

@Sooofresh

You missed out the bit about Eastenders.... smile.gif - but I admire your sense of humour biggrin.gif

I'm not into faking it to please John Public or if you like, the common mould....and what's even scarier, those that don't fit the common mould don't necessarily see eye to eye with each other either - it can be an extremely small world out there smile.gif

A man of his word can only have his word used against him - and usually will!

#49 Sooofresh

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Posted 15 January 2006 - 06:00 PM

Incognito

you really do have a sense of humour

I am still catching jokes above the quote below


" admire women who can go against the grain and are brave enough not to conform to the common mould. "

LOL

anyone that goes against the common mould Incognito you debate against their views by establishing your populists views............and last time i checked populisim all share the same common moulds of society.

any enough of jokes..........i am of to watch Eastenders biggrin.gif

Edited by Sooofresh, 15 January 2006 - 06:01 PM.


#50 akin

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 10:53 AM

Dear Agony Uncle Twang,

I have got a slightly red and sore rash on a particular part of my body, which is used to produce a feeling of tremendous pleasure and temporary euphoria. I was playing with my hoover and got slightly carried away.

Do you have a natural remedy for this?

replies on a postage stamp please to akin.

Yours sorely,

AK47

#51 PantherWoman

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 12:28 PM

I'm also a man of the mind and find most women prefer to deal with men who have semen for brains as it gives them something to hide behind instead of facing themselves.

I love uniqueness and exclusivity so you can imagine how difficult it is looking for the woman that is different from the rest and all you see is Eastenders

Hmmmm. cool.gif

Edited by PantherWoman, 16 January 2006 - 12:29 PM.


#52 Voo

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 03:22 PM

@ Incognito

I take issue with your assertion that: "most women prefer to deal with men who have semen for brains as it gives them something to hide behind instead of facing themselves" particularly as the majority of sistas I know are nothing like that whatsoever.

I personally find that us sistas love a man with brains and personality. Of course, some of us have made stupid choices, just like our brothas, but this is rarely because we prefer the 'semen for brains' type and is a very, very naive and simplistic assumption on your part methinks. sad.gif

As for your assertion that "only women who have a problem are those with whom my comments touch too close to home", have you considered that we might have a problem because we are being stereotyped and degraded? You know big mouths like moi and certain other sistas on the forum just can't have that! wink.gif
"To kill a woman is to kill humanity itself"

#53 Voo

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 04:15 PM

@ SoberSimian & Prince Hakeem

Glad to hear you guys are cool with the head wrap thing… I was starting to get seriously worried about the extent to which aesthetic brain washing had affected our people!

Re: Facial hair
Maybe some women don’t feel the facial hair thing but I’ve always loved it. I can’t deal with men who are too fussy about their facial hair growing and feel the need to shave it religiously. Worse still are the brothas who look like they’ve spent hours in front of a mirror, shaping and styling their facial hair. In the end, it just looks, well, gay. I also have a preference for men with chest hair, not too much though i.e. I must still be able to see chest!

@ Twang

QUOTE
“u have them WOTLESS insecure chumps who spend there whole life watching a next man’s flex bcoz they know if they don’t there women will..”


Are these the same ones who give dirty looks to every man they see on road? What the hell is that about??

I have to say, I think its important a man looks after himself hygienically. Basic things like cleaning teeth, clean clothes etc are not things that a man should be compromising on and to be fair, most brothas I have met are very clean but I’m talking about the little extras e.g. I mean, even in nature, the male of the species goes out of his way to impress the female (who often plays hard to get! lol)

As for cooking… Well, I’m not sure that it is naturally the woman’s flex. I know several chefs and accomplished cooks and most of them are men. My Uncle back home in Grenada, for example is renowned for his cake baking abilities, and my Man has endless amounts of male relatives who are professional chefs. I also remember watching a documentary years ago (will try and find the title) which was filmed in a village on the Continent where the women went out to work in the fields and the men stayed home and cooked. Not sure how being a woman predisposes you to genetically being a better cook…?

@ All

Q: I don’t really have a problem with my Man looking at attractive sistas and sometimes tease him when I catch him to which he always tries to plead that he ‘didn’t even see her’ – Yeah right! smile.gif The only time I would have an issue is if he is being too overt and she notices, because I can’t have her thinking that I have a loose man. Anyhow, my question is do men have a problem with their woman admiring an attractive brotha?

This thread was a good idea. I guess we should have a similar one for men to ask about women.
"To kill a woman is to kill humanity itself"

#54 Tunduzi

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 05:03 PM

Anyhow, my question is do men have a problem with their woman admiring an attractive brotha?

Unlikely I'd notice. I'd either be too big headed and oblivious to imagine my woman could possibly do such a thing or I'd be trying to not get noticed doing what I'm doing.

I have been on the other side though and I wasn't amused. I'll be sitting on the bus and a big man mountain sits down with his fine woman who for some evil reason won't stop looking and smiling at me. The dude never notices but that doesn't stop it being one hell of an uncomfortable ride for me.

#55 Twang

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 05:12 PM

Akin, Akin, Akin

Why do I get the feeling that something is just not sitting right with u? and its definately not your dick!!! Relax my friend Br Hakeem is putting up a good argument on your behalf in the other thread I’m sure he saying all things you’ve been to frightened say and more so just chill.

Let me advice anyway If its not u I’m sure theres many that would love an answer to your problem.

Book an appointment to go the clinic even if its just for safe keeping as most brotha’s are very taboo about such necessities until its to dam late. The soreness could be down 1 of 3 things:

1 Urine infection - which could of started by a natural common occurrences in women that wash with to much scented soap which then kills of the natural defensive bacteria leaving the vagina open to a mild infection leaving a horrible fishy smell and minor discharge which in turn could cause u a urine infection - resulting in u pissing every 30 mins.

2 NSU (A Non Specific Urethras)- An infection that could be caused through either an infected partner carrying it unbeknown to her as the side affects do not show up in women until its far to late which could later cause infertility. Or women overdosing in yeast causing a yeast infection possibly leading to thrush – resulting in u getting a discharge and a constant frequency to urinate.

3 STD - Your just a dirty stop out that can’t keep his trousers in his pants and fail to take the necessary precautions resulting all kind of Sexually transmitted diseases that u probably deserved to get from laying down with pure hood rats or the easy going non challenging slapper type that has no problem giving it up on the first.


If its non of the above the natural cure would be to just stop 'Jacking off ' with the hover and get a life.

Edited by Twang, 16 January 2006 - 05:17 PM.


#56 Mogho Naaba

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 06:05 PM

@Voo

I don't mind my wife being attracted to other men. She just LOVES Taye Diggs and Tyson Beckford. When he (Tyson Beckford) was on the Tyra Banks show a few weeks ago, I swear if her eyes were any more glued to the screen I would have had to have made a trip to B&Q to get some special remover lmao. But in real life I wouldn't mind either as long as she obviously isn't gawping at breh....that's something different. We already discussed these things a long time ago so we know where we stand on this issue. Whenever Taye is on the box I'm like "there goes your man".

I got a friend who's girl loves Denzel and whenever he used to come on TV she'd be like "oh he's so fit, he's so this and that". One classic moment was when they came to visit and we watched Ricochet. There's a scene when Denzel's naked in the locker room and my friend's girl must have had a quadriple orgasm! Me and my missus have some form of telepathy so we were both thinking "raahtid" cos my friend just looked at his girl as if to say "oh yeah?" We were so embarassed it wasn't funny. Anyways he told me the following week that he had a chat with her and told her to calm it down a bit so she's behaved since. This was a long time ago and she's a much more tactful person.

So you see there's a thin line between admiration and being inconsiderate.

Edited by PRINCE HAKEEM, 16 January 2006 - 06:06 PM.


#57 Tunduzi

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 06:10 PM

Prince Hakeem

I might be speaking out of turn but I think Voo meant when the "Denzel" or "Taye" is actually in the room with you and is a tangible person in sight not a celeb on TV.

#58 Mogho Naaba

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 06:31 PM

QUOTE (SoberSimian @ Jan 16 2006, 06:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Prince Hakeem

I might be speaking out of turn but I think Voo meant when the "Denzel" or "Taye" is actually in the room with you and is a tangible person in sight not a celeb on TV.


Maybe that's what she meant....but I did mention both scenarios just in case. Some peeps don't like either.

#59 PantherWoman

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 06:49 PM

I think some men don't even realise when their woman is checking out another man and maybe lusting a little, tiny bit. Instead, they are watching some big, muscular goon with muscles in its neck and everywhere, and your man's there watching you to see if you are drooling over this steroid popper's physique, and maybe feeling a little insecure cos their own pecs and biceps ain't really saying much...not realising that you are more feeling the slim ting over the other side with the footballer's or the swimmer's physique! Ha ha ha! tongue.gif

Edited by PantherWoman, 16 January 2006 - 06:51 PM.


#60 akin

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 06:55 PM

Lets face it whether youre a man or a woman from time to time we both have our eye on something or someone else.

Self control is about knowing you could but the fact is you choose not to.

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