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#21 Gazelle

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Posted 04 January 2006 - 01:12 AM

Thank you MMD.

SS see?

#22 Tunduzi

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Posted 04 January 2006 - 11:14 AM

MMD telling women what they wanna hear LOL

If a strange woman came up to you and started complimenting you and you didn't respond then brotha you the one missing out on big ass signals... it's why women later claim we are obtuse.

#23 Voo

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Posted 04 January 2006 - 01:25 PM

I remember reading a thread on Blacknet ages ago about brothers who found sistas who wore head ties/scarves to bed a turn off. I've spoken to some of the brothers I know and found that most of them disagreed with this. So what's the deal? I ain't messing my 'fro up just so I can lay on my pillow looking immaculate!!!

Also, why are some brothers so obsessed with shaving their facial hair? I like it!!!

Are all men really guided by their penises or is it part of a phase that boys/men go through before becoming 'real' men?

Is there such thing as a mid life crisis for the African man?
"To kill a woman is to kill humanity itself"

#24 Tunduzi

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Posted 04 January 2006 - 02:41 PM

QUOTE (Voo @ Jan 4 2006, 01:25 PM)

I remember reading a thread on Blacknet ages ago about brothers who found sistas who wore head ties/scarves to bed a turn off. I've spoken to some of the brothers I know and found that most of them disagreed with this. So what's the deal? I ain't messing my 'fro up just so I can lay on my pillow looking immaculate!!!

Since I wear one too I can't complain LOL. Besides I'd rather she wore a tie than woke up next to me looking like that little Jackson kid from eastenders back in the day.

Also, why are some brothers so obsessed with shaving their facial hair? I like it!!!

I like it too!! Or I'm lazy? hmm Some people's jobs demand that you are clean shaven, others see it as a more professional appearance.

Are all men really guided by their penises or is it part of a phase that boys/men go through before becoming 'real' men?

Up to a point. I think all men would LOOK at each and every pretty woman that passes in front of them with different degrees of discretion but how they react depends on him personally. I don't chase after each and every because I can't be bothered. Others are faithful to their women (don't laugh it's true) and others I know do indeed seems to be guided by their penises and do chase everything in a skirt. Not age, just circumstance or personality. I would look if I'm on my own or with friends but if I was with my woman then I wouldn't appear to be looking. My personality and drive doesn't allow me to chase after all women because I'm too fussy, too lazy to do it and it's not that exciting to me really. But I was always that way which is why I say it's not really age. Also I know old men who carry on like they were possessed by something when around women... amusing but sad.

Is there such thing as a mid life crisis for the African man?

I'm far too young to answer such things LOL From my observations though I would think yes would be the answer.

Edited by SoberSimian, 04 January 2006 - 02:42 PM.


#25 alb

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Posted 04 January 2006 - 05:54 PM

Do men have emotions? popcorn.gif

#26 Mogho Naaba

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Posted 04 January 2006 - 06:09 PM

@Voo

I remember reading a thread on Blacknet ages ago about brothers who found sistas who wore head ties/scarves to bed a turn off. I've spoken to some of the brothers I know and found that most of them disagreed with this. So what's the deal? I ain't messing my 'fro up just so I can lay on my pillow looking immaculate!!!

I don't understand how any brotha would find that a turn off.....quite the opposite for me in fact!! If you're laying on top of me and your locs or braids are all in my face it can intefere with our, shall I say, 'bonding'...

Also, why are some brothers so obsessed with shaving their facial hair? I like it!!!

But don't most females complain that kissing their man feels like smooching a hair brush?

Are all men really guided by their penises or is it part of a phase that boys/men go through before becoming 'real' men?

It's a phase for most men.....although I have known men in their late 30's and even 40's( blink.gif ) who still sleep around as if bed wuk is going outta fashion! Why they still gwaan like that at their age is anyone's guess!! From time your past the age of 35 (I'm being generous here) grow up man!

Is there such thing as a mid life crisis for the African man

Like SS I ain't old enough to answer that yet.

Edited by PRINCE HAKEEM, 04 January 2006 - 06:12 PM.


#27 The Mighty Mos Def

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Posted 04 January 2006 - 06:58 PM

QUOTE (SoberSimian @ Jan 4 2006, 07:14 AM)
MMD telling women what they wanna hear LOL

If a strange woman came up to you and started complimenting you and you didn't respond then brotha you the one missing out on big ass signals... it's why women later claim we are obtuse.

What if I didn't find the lady attractive? Now, I wouldn't respond to her with the contempt Gazelle's friend seemingly dealt with, no matter how unattractive I found her, because that's not my style. I just don't believe a lot of cats are used to or good at handling these kind of situations properly. Those types are prone to respond to the attention awkwardly, whereas you or I may pick up on what the signals really meant, and not overreact or underreact when facing a similar circumstance.

#28 Tunduzi

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Posted 04 January 2006 - 08:48 PM

How you responded nicely or not is not the point I was making. My point is that when a strange woman approaches you and compliements you and she doesn't know you she is flirting and that is that.

Now on to your seperate point about how to deal with that if you don't like her well that's where simple manners and decent behaviour comes in. Some people have it others were raised by clowns... Ignoring the signals when a woman is flirting with you is one idea you mentioned slightly but in my experience I wouldn't do it. If she is determined she will only try harder and embarass you both. Casually throw in a remark about your girl (whether you have one or not) that is relevant to the conversation. "oh my wife likes those too". That sort of thing. It's what women do to us LOL!! It makes the point without blatantly being rude or even acknowleging that you embarassed her which is worse. She can pretend to herself you didn't realise she was flirting and not feel bad.

#29 chocolate

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Posted 04 January 2006 - 11:15 PM

QUOTE (The Mighty Mos Def @ Jan 4 2006, 06:58 PM)
QUOTE (SoberSimian @ Jan 4 2006, 07:14 AM)
MMD telling women what they wanna hear LOL

If a strange woman came up to you and started complimenting you and you didn't respond then brotha you the one missing out on big ass signals... it's why women later claim we are obtuse.

What if I didn't find the lady attractive? Now, I wouldn't respond to her with the contempt Gazelle's friend seemingly dealt with, no matter how unattractive I found her, because that's not my style. I just don't believe a lot of cats are used to or good at handling these kind of situations properly. Those types are prone to respond to the attention awkwardly, whereas you or I may pick up on what the signals really meant, and not overreact or underreact when facing a similar circumstance.

So you think that it is possible foer a woman to pay a guy a compliment without him taking it the wrong way? halleluyah, there is still hope yet.

#30 chocolate

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Posted 04 January 2006 - 11:19 PM

QUOTE (SoberSimian @ Jan 4 2006, 08:48 PM)
How you responded nicely or not is not the point I was making. My point is that when a strange woman approaches you and compliements you and she doesn't know you she is flirting and that is that.

Now on to your seperate point about how to deal with that if you don't like her well that's where simple manners and decent behaviour comes in. Some people have it others were raised by clowns... Ignoring the signals when a woman is flirting with you is one idea you mentioned slightly but in my experience I wouldn't do it. If she is determined she will only try harder and embarass you both. Casually throw in a remark about your girl (whether you have one or not) that is relevant to the conversation. "oh my wife likes those too". That sort of thing. It's what women do to us LOL!! It makes the point without blatantly being rude or even acknowleging that you embarassed her which is worse. She can pretend to herself you didn't realise she was flirting and not feel bad.

that is so smooth! what if the women is genuinely not flirting with the guy? It is possible you know, so i say honesty is the best policy in my opinion but in a diplomatic way of course. smile.gif

#31 abissinia

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Posted 05 January 2006 - 07:52 PM

If what SS saying is true, there are a few African men walking around thinking i want a piece of them lol...

Personally @SS if i am interested in someone i am less likely to be forward with my complements especially to do with their looks.
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#32 coltrane

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Posted 06 January 2006 - 08:22 PM

QUOTE (abissinia @ Jan 5 2006, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If what SS saying is true, there are a few African men walking around thinking i want a piece of them lol...

Personally @SS if i am interested in someone i am less likely to be forward with my complements especially to do with their looks.



really?


but I remember last time we were together you told me you had something for for weight lifters....ohh pleeeze dont tell me your new years resolution is "looks dont matter anymore" damn what a 365 days a year make...what a relif!phew biggrin.gif
If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise we do not believe in it at all. ~ Noam Chomsky

#33 abissinia

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Posted 06 January 2006 - 10:23 PM

really?


but I remember last time we were together you told me you had something for for weight lifters....ohh pleeeze dont tell me your new years resolution is "looks dont matter anymore" damn what a 365 days a year make...what a relif!phew biggrin.gif
[/quote]

..................

I am confused... what has my preferences got anything to do with what i sad above? Also i have posted pics of weight lifters but i have never actually said i like to date them. And another thing last time we were together? eh am i missing something here?
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#34 coltrane

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Posted 06 January 2006 - 10:26 PM

come on... was only jocking


eeeei! dry.gif
If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise we do not believe in it at all. ~ Noam Chomsky

#35 Incognito

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Posted 08 January 2006 - 12:42 PM

@alba

Do men have emotions? - yes but there are psychological subtleties involved which mean not all are driven by the same emotions. I'll use myself as an example to explain. With me there are at least two streams of love, love based on the commonly perceived emotion and love based on respect. My love from respect supercedes my emotional love and is the primary decision maker.

Speaking to other people who can relate (women included), we question whether all people have more than one strain of love, whether some people have more than two and whether people with more than one can deal with them as separate entities.

This can lead to all kinds of differences and can lead to misunderstandings when globally used terms are used liberally like the term unconditional love. If you are a person with multiple love streams like me, uncoditional love (emotional) is driven by my respect for you which by default renders my emotional love as conditional.

I may love you emotionally but let me see you give microwave heated milk to your baby, let me see you ply your children with pork, let me see you put a tv and a dvd player in a four year old's bedroom, let me see you keep your home untidy and worst be met with hostility when pulling you up on it - believe once my respect for you has gone my emotional love hasn't even got a say....and wosre of all, if you are with me, this is the kind of thing you have to work out about me for yourself clap.gif

This also explains why I see things like marriage in a completely different light to many people as for me it is an expression of respect - nothing to do with whether I am emotionally in love with someone or not. Equally if you are my wife and you lose my respect I will unmarry you - again it has nothing to do with whether I love you emotionally or not.

The real problems arise with people who only have emotional love and cannot relate to other strains or people who have other strains but their emotional love is their decision maker - which from what I've seen is the majority....a relationship where both people are driven by emotional love is hard enough so imagine when they are different.

That being said, different emotions can be the driving force for different relationships. When it comes to direct family, foundation friends and my children, in crunch situations my emotional love tends to superceed my love based on respect i.e I may not respect some of the things you have done but I'll still love you as my family/friend/buddy - but these relationships may still be doomed if the counterpart has a decision maker different to yours. It explains why I can still see things to admire in my dad where my other brothers cannot.

But yes, in a more direct answer to your question, do we as men have emotions, yes, but most are driven by their pricks clap.gif

Edited by Incognito, 08 January 2006 - 08:09 PM.


#36 Incognito

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Posted 08 January 2006 - 06:12 PM

@abissinia

Interesting observation...

Life has this strange way of patterns repeating themself. In my day, as much as I could go a while without sex, I usually found that I was acquainted with some female...I don't know how coincidental it is but she was always brownskin and always slim - but anyway, in times where I was on a full bag bursting at the seams and in need of a release after some serious studying, I could usually call on this acquaintence who even if I didn't sleep with (for fear of non wedlock or even accident children) I could (generally with great effort)) get some hand relief or even a job - and ok, sometimes it did lead to full blown sex......hey, I'm only human tongue.gif

I was one of the few men I knew not driven by sex or at least had other more important things occupying my time like getting an education laying the foundations for the next generation. People would ask me if I had a girlfriend or children and I'd say what is a girlfriend when you don't know where your next loaf of bread is coming from? Foundation for me was all important, I saw it as the root and without it saw myself as no good to anyone - if my foundation is under threat, hold fire on your dependencies on me until I secure it again wink.gif

But back to the days. My fondest memory is of one particular woman who had this excellent hand relief technique using creams and baby oil. To this day, during idle times I'll often find myself reminiscing over her massage skills and would catch myself adjusting down below laugh.gif.

So far I haven't found another woman as good but then I haven't really been looking - having a virgin wife probably didn't help either:) but as I say, life has a strange way of repeating itself smile.gif

I once found a few clinic slips in one of my friends Astra, I wonder which man will be the first to admit he was carrying vd - still, depending on your persuassion vd may merely be seen as an occupational hazard smile.gif.

Edited by Incognito, 08 January 2006 - 07:06 PM.


#37 Voo

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 12:24 PM

Do men check out/ size up other men as much as sistas check out other sistas... if so, what are you 'checking up' for. e.g. When I see another sista, I might look at her hair and think hmm, lovely natural hair or what's going on with the weave sis? etc

NB: Don't lie and say how you guys never look at other men (and dont' read any homosexual overtones into it either!)

Is it true that men love to gossip as much as women? biggrin.gif

Do brothas care about making an effort to look good for their woman as much as we sistas do? If not, why not?

I know that the way to 100% of African men's hearts is through their stomach. I think this is a fairly indisputable fact, but how many brothas regularly cook for their woman and are GOOD cooks at that? Is this something men view as the 'woman's job'?

I read a news story a few days ago about a couple who were attacked by a racist thug in Wales(?). The thug attacked the brotha first and floored him so the sista started to attack the bluefoot full throttle (you know how us sistas stay). Anyway, in the event of this happening to a brotha, would you prefer your woman to attend to you lying on the floor or do what this sista did and try to beat up the attacker?
"To kill a woman is to kill humanity itself"

#38 Voo

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 03:59 PM

And one more thing... what is with brothers who relax their hair? It's blasphemous!
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#39 Twang

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 05:20 PM

QUOTE
Do men check out/ size up other men as much as sistas check out other sistas... if so, what are you 'checking up' for. e.g. When I see another sista, I might look at her hair and think hmm, lovely natural hair or what's going on with the weave sis? Etc


Not really probably bcoz there so much women to go around when your juggling about 4 women at a time u ain’t got time to be watching a next man but then saying that u have them WOTLESS insecure chumps who spend there whole life watching a next man’s flex bcoz they know if they don’t there women will and there inability to sustain a loving relationship causes the most extreme form of paranoia so they make it there life’s ambition to make sure that these types are not appealing to her but they always are.

QUOTE
Is it true that men love to gossip as much as women?


Yeah things like how a back shot was so sweet it made a mans eye water blink.gif

QUOTE
Do brothas care about making an effort to look good for their woman as much as we sistas do? If not, why not?


We do but its all about the sista’s representing bcoz its easy for a man to look over dressed given the occasion where sisters can look good anywhere they go.

QUOTE
I know that the way to 100% of African men's hearts is through their stomach. I think this is a fairly indisputable fact, but how many brothas regularly cook for their woman and are GOOD cooks at that? Is this something men view as the 'woman's job'?


My mum brought me up in true African tradition where all the men cook but once u teach wifey the score (if u have to bcoz u now how western women stay) then that’s naturally a woman’s flex biggrin.gif

QUOTE
I read a news story a few days ago about a couple who were attacked by a racist thug in Wales(?). The thug attacked the brotha first and floored him so the sista started to attack the bluefoot full throttle (you know how us sistas stay). Anyway, in the event of this happening to a brotha, would you prefer your woman to attend to you lying on the floor or do what this sista did and try to beat up the attacker?


No she should steer clear men are designed to take licks although u do have that very sad type that boast about beating up women half there size and getting some kind of boost from it very, very sad individuals indeed. mad.gif

Edited by Twang, 13 January 2006 - 05:25 PM.


#40 Sooofresh

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 05:52 PM

Voo

Men do size each other up,..........how do i know? at my part-time job they gossip about it biggrin.gif

now with the fight thing..........i think they would expect the women to give some kind of a support...........would I do it......dunno depends n the size of the ring biggrin.gif

Edited by Sooofresh, 13 January 2006 - 05:54 PM.





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