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Britain's First 'black' Judge Releases Controversial Book.


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#21 Sankofa

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Posted 06 March 2006 - 12:43 PM

Is the book more about her or the effects of her ordeal?

#22 Sooofresh

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Posted 06 March 2006 - 05:54 PM

@yoruba girl

I agree with you 100%, the culture of shame among africans is of no use to our progression.

UNLESS IT SUITS US

ie if an african woman has an affair then she will get named and shamed, or if a guy commited fraud...........

BUT

dare to name and SHAME those who perpetuate child abusers, or rapists
etc...............then everyone gets angry att he victim.

amd ask your self why african victims are less likly to come forward.

Don't give a rats ass if the abuser is Black, i appluad and will contribute to the sales of her book by buying a dozen and sell to ther AFRICAN pupils, to teach them that abuse is not to be ket quiet and abusers idendity should not be PROTECTED.

bet yo her mum is screwin....*ayo ayo my image*........biatchhhhhhhhh........LOL

#23 MarcusGarveyLives

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Posted 06 March 2006 - 08:34 PM

Her story is indeed interesting - however what appears to be in dispute is how much of the story is true. That may explain why members of her own family are suing her.

To deal with the issues raised earlier regarding the father of her children, please examine the following:

" ... She lives in South London with her partner, writer and QC, Tony Arlidge and their two children Martin and Francesca ...

(Source: UK Black Out - The Leading Black Gay and Lesbian Online Community)

... compare with ...

"She has written the book to let her children, now teenagers, know “something about their mum”, and at the behest of her partner, Tony Arlidge, a writer and QC. Her daughter, studying at St Paul’s girls’ school, read it and was appalled. Her son, currently applying to Cambridge, is stuck in the middle of the story, too pained to continue ..."

(Source: Deirdre Fernand meets Constance Briscoe, Sunday Times, 15 January 2006)

... compare with ...

"Not one of her high-flying colleagues at the Bar knew her secret. Not even her partner, Tony Arlidge, a fellow barrister and QC and the father of her two children, knew, until he read her autobiography, Ugly. He cried when he read it. "I have just never discussed my past, ever, until this book," says Briscoe ..."

(Source: Witness for the prosecution, The Scotsman, 29 January 2006)

... which you should now compare with ...

"... Constance, who now lives in Clapham with her two children, Martin, 18, Francesca, 16, and her partner, Tony Arlidge QC, says she was encouraged to write down her memories by her partner. "I wanted my children to know about me and my mother. They're at an age where they can ask questions and that's why I did it. And my partner encouraged me."

(Source: Newcastle Evening Chronicle, 24 January 2006*)

(*Note this again raises the question of how Anthony Arlidge QC encouraged Ms Briscoe to write a book that, according to another version of events, he did not know anything about until it was published)

It may simply be that she does not know who the father of her children is (other than the fact that he is (or they are) european.

As was posted on the Blacknet Village message board on 31 January 2006:

"... the rumour is that she gained access to the legal profession back in the early 1980s with activities that would put some of African Amercia's finest "adult entertainment industry" performers to shame."

(Source: Blacknet Village, Thread - Ugly - by Constance Briscoe (Book Review Section of Village))

That may explain a lot.

#24 yorubagirl

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Posted 07 March 2006 - 01:05 PM

@SoooFresh

Thanks for acknowledging what I stated. Sadly though, we are still sailing down the river of de nile when we still close our eyes to abuse within our communities, by folks who look like us. We all need to heal. But some folks are still on the bandwagon of polishing off their dashikis and spouting romantisced ideologies when it comes to our cultural values and needs.
There definitely is a concerted and implicit silence on the beatings and how it affected us.
Again, regardless in how the author lives and I'll reiterate- I am not condoning her lifestyle or the caucausian folk that she mixes with- that this is her life, however abhorrent I may find it.
However, I clap.gif the woman for opening up about her life and the impact of the abuse which was afflicted on her.
There is truth in what has been written, regardless of the complexities of her particular case.Abuse does happen in our communities.

#25 Twang

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Posted 07 March 2006 - 06:43 PM

QUOTE (yorubagirl @ Mar 7 2006, 01:05 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
@SoooFresh

Thanks for acknowledging what I stated. Sadly though, we are still sailing down the river of de nile when we still close our eyes to abuse within our communities, by folks who look like us. We all need to heal. But some folks are still on the bandwagon of polishing off their dashikis and spouting romantisced ideologies when it comes to our cultural values and needs.
There definitely is a concerted and implicit silence on the beatings and how it affected us.
Again, regardless in how the author lives and I'll reiterate- I am not condoning her lifestyle or the caucausian folk that she mixes with- that this is her life, however abhorrent I may find it.
However, I clap.gif the woman for opening up about her life and the impact of the abuse which was afflicted on her.
There is truth in what has been written, regardless of the complexities of her particular case.Abuse does happen in our communities.


Your slightly missing the point sis this is not about denial or holding the African moral high ground but more about the motives behind the book like I and others have mentioned before had she not seek to gain profit from her 'alleged' pain then it would of stood a lot more credibility after all it’s quite clear she didn’t need the money so why not set up a charity and expose it that way?

As MGL as pointed out why the inconsistencies on how it came to be? It just stinks of another black person embracing any and everything to do with Euro’s then needing an excuse to justify there choice by publicly denigrating there own. What the real worry should be is why are there so many blacks in the spot light willing to profit at the expense of Africans while loving up tight with europeans? This seems to be a very serious disease especially as these people are put in place to serve as African role Models.

Peace.

#26 huzzah

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Posted 07 March 2006 - 08:16 PM

The inconsistencies get worse

http://www.guardian....rticle_continue

As I grew up, I kept my distance from boys. I was never going to embarrass myself by going to bed with my man only to find that I had drowned him, along with me. I was also a good Catholic girl; I went to a convent school where we were always taught it was a sin to have sex outside of marriage. I was a good student; I worked hard and I made my mind up that I wanted to be a barrister from a very early age. On a school trip to Knightsbridge crown court I was lucky enough to meet the barrister Michael Mansfield, who agreed to give me a pupillage when I qualified. All I needed were my O-levels, A-levels and a degree.

I worked incredibly hard - while employed as an office cleaner to support myself - until I finally qualified. Then I discovered I was pregnant. It was completely unplanned. An enormous shock went through my body. I had always believed Catholics should not use condoms. The Pope had said so. It was much better to count the days of the menstrual cycle and avoid sex during the "hot spots". I was caught out by having miscounted my days. I was well beyond three months when it dawned on me that I was up the duff.

My then partner took it in his stride. I am not at all sure that he wanted to be a father just at that moment but he was very supportive. He had a conventional, privileged English upbringing - he'd been to public school, then Oxford and worked in the city as a solicitor. He was a year older than me.


Will the real father please stand up.

#27 MarcusGarveyLives

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Posted 07 March 2006 - 09:49 PM

Thank you for uncovering this.

"My then partner took it in his stride. I am not at all sure that he wanted to be a father just at that moment but he was very supportive. He had a conventional, privileged English upbringing - he'd been to public school, then Oxford and worked in the city as a solicitor. He was a year older than me ..."

(Source: Up against it, The Guardian, 21 January 2006)

The person referred to there is therefore clearly not Anthony Arlidge QC - it is a different white man.

If she is not capable of telling the truth about that, can she be believed on anything? Does she think that we Africans are completely stupid?



Who's The Daddy?


#28 yorubagirl

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 11:48 AM

QUOTE (Twang @ Mar 7 2006, 06:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Your slightly missing the point sis this is not about denial or holding the African moral high ground but more about the motives behind the book like I and others have mentioned before had she not seek to gain profit from her 'alleged' pain then it would of stood a lot more credibility after all it’s quite clear she didn’t need the money so why not set up a charity and expose it that way?

As MGL as pointed out why the inconsistencies on how it came to be? It just stinks of another black person embracing any and everything to do with Euro’s then needing an excuse to justify there choice by publicly denigrating there own. What the real worry should be is why are there so many blacks in the spot light willing to profit at the expense of Africans while loving up tight with europeans? This seems to be a very serious disease especially as these people are put in place to serve as African role Models.

Peace.


Twang,
I don't feel that I am missing the point at all. This issue is a very emotive one for me, and yes, it does seem that the author has her own hidden agenda and I'm sure this will become even more clearer when and if her other siblings choose to speak up.Nevertheless, in spite of her inconsistencies and her alleged treatment from her mother (btw, has her mother started the legal process yet?) this issue has opened up a can of worms regarding the brutal and punitive beatings that happen in our communities.
Whenever I have tried to address this issue in an all African setting, I am told, quite incredibly, that 'beatings' are good for African children; it has also been stated within this very forum, which to me is deplorable.
Yes, there should be a level of discipline within African households. However, in all of my years of being a counsellor and observing how it has ultimately affected AFRICAN YOUTHS, and how it has affected ME, the stance of routinely beating children is still a lesson that we haven't learnt from. We want to turn a blind eye to it and constantly humour ourselves about it.
Instead, folks are focusing on the author's choice of mate - again, something that I do not condone. Nonetheless, the issue of beatings within our communities should be the focus. Period.

#29 Sooofresh

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 06:15 PM

Does it matter who is the daddy

or just because she is not married to the father of the children , then she is not allowed to complain about the abuse.


anyway


I can't wait untill this court case begins..................lets look at inconsistencies..........instead of basing it on white media ala le guardian and what not................LOL


yoruba

funny how all emphasis is on * what is the motive*..............who cares, if i went through the same things i would write the book and make the film.

Remember Alice Walker book turned film *The colour purple*, becuase it is based on a story of the husband who happens to be african who abuses his wife ( and yes it does happen* apparently alice walker and is a liar and not a true african

the culture of shame has to stop and only does who SUPPORT the culture of shame is because THEY have something to HIDE.........LOL............why are people scared of abuserers being named and shamed?...........why?........no........only abusers themselves are scared of name and shame.

NAME AND SHAME...........to all of those who abuse africans.

)))kiss teet((((

#30 MarcusGarveyLives

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 06:27 PM

What should be done to Africans who fabricate stories of child abuse in order to make money out of gullible whites looking to buy books that give them an "insight" into "West Indian" family life (a purely hypothetical question that should not be taken as referring to any particular event or situation, real or fictional)?

#31 Sooofresh

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 06:47 PM

WOW

we have a dialogue from MGL...........the woman must'ave really got to you.

What should happen to africans who fabrictae lies.........simple they should die........LOL

but hey ............as i said.............lets wait untill the court case occurs........if it is true that the grant application did not get signed etc, etc............or did not talk to her for 30 years......something must'ave happened.

or whatever

i am waiting untill the court case

matter closed.

#32 The Freelance Scientist

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 06:52 PM

Well, I hope that, if she is indeed telling the truth, find it within herself to forgive her mother instead of the "bring it on" stance. It would be better for both of them if they solved it outside the courtroom instead of hanging their dirty laundry in public.
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#33 PantherWoman

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 06:56 PM

QUOTE (MarcusGarveyLives @ Mar 8 2006, 06:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
What should be done to Africans who fabricate stories of child abuse in order to make money out of gullible whites looking to buy books that give them an "insight" into "West Indian" family life (a purely hypothetical question that should not be taken as referring to any particular event or situation, real or fictional)?


My friend has read this book and although she doesn't believe it really happened, the abuse that is described isn't just beating. According to the author she was made to sleep without bedclothes or nightclothes in her own urine night after night. She was also regularly subjected to cruel verbal abuse, or so she says.

If the story is true there is no doubt that what happened to her was in fact abuse and not just a few lick for being out of order - which is what most Africans are probably more familiar with.

I think this book (if it is non-fiction) could easily have been done as a work of fiction and then it probably wouldn't have upset so many people. From what my friend says, it seems the author does not seem all there anyway, obsessed with mentioning/describing the skin tones of the various characters; the darker ones in a negative fashion... and lighter ones more positively.

If it's true that this woman has 'deep issues' about being an African (as my friend is claiming), the obvious questions are: What caused this? Her upbringing maybe? And also... is she even mentally fit to be a judge??

#34 yorubagirl

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 11:16 AM

QUOTE (Sooofresh @ Mar 8 2006, 06:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
the culture of shame has to stop and only does who SUPPORT the culture of shame is because THEY have something to HIDE.........LOL............why are people scared of abuserers being named and shamed?...........why?........no........only abusers themselves are scared of name and shame.

NAME AND SHAME...........to all of those who abuse africans.
)))kiss teet((((


You make some excellent points sooo fresh.
Unfortunately, the culture of shame regarding this author, has been gift wrapped and diverted regarding her choice of partner .
We only have to look at the blind eyes, deaf ears and silent lips that were utilised when R Kelly's cavorting with an underaged African woman was presented regarding his paedophillic (sp) tendencies. But oh no, folks were in denial (as he was), when he 'thought' that the young woman was older than she said. When the community came out and said that she was nothing but a 'ho anyway.

I guess when I decide to tell my story of the countless abuse that I suffered in foster homes, together with the hands of my mother, I will be called a 'sell out'?
I am sure there are many other stories out there regarding emotional, mental and physical abuse within our community(in fact, I know for a fact, due to the work that I do as a counsellor). But, as I've stated before, we want to close our eyes to it and look through romanticised, rosy coloured spectacles when it comes to our people.

#35 Mogho Naaba

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 12:42 PM

QUOTE (The Freelance Scientist @ Mar 8 2006, 06:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Well, I hope that, if she is indeed telling the truth, find it within herself to forgive her mother instead of the "bring it on" stance. It would be better for both of them if they solved it outside the courtroom instead of hanging their dirty laundry in public.



Why should she have to forgive her mother for that, especially if her mother is showing absolutely no remorse for the way she abused her own daughter? If these allegations are true than that wicked witch of a mother deserves what she gets, I ain't defending someone like that just because they're an elder.

The only "stance" that I'm against is this head-in-sand mentality by many of those in the community who feel that sweeping this issue under the carpet and pretending it doesn't exist is justifiable. All this "well beatings helped me" is all well and good if you didn't suffer severe physical and mental mistreatment. I received licks like most kids growing up in the 80's but I never suffered anything to that extreme. There are people in mental homes or on drugs as a direct result of things like this.

That's why although I'm not a fan of IR, I won't knock anyone for doing what they feel is the most therapeautic means to help them cope with their trauma. I'm not saying this woman doesn't have issues and that there isn't an underlying agenda on her part, but the fact is the abuse within our community still occurs and it needs to be addressed no matter how shameful, painful or embarrasing it is to many of us. NO subject should be taboo.

#36 Toyin

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 01:05 PM

@yorubagirl

You and all the posters make some excellent points and I personally wish to thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I must say first of all though that I too have little trust or respect for the manner in which the ‘Ugly’ tale is currently being presented, it clearly suggests that there is a desire to capitalise on the pain indicating that money or something else is the motivating factor and not just truth or justice for victims of child abuse.

Something just doesn’t seem right. sad.gif

However saying that, I do believe that some form of abuse took place and that this issue needs to be addressed by those involved as does any issue of abuse which occurs within our community. But the key words are within our community, within the context of cultural privacy, this is a sensitive issue and it does not help to have it examined from only one side of the story under the microscopic glare of a national media which relishes in promoting anti-African sentiment. I am so disapointed that our own so called media chose not to take the opportunity to bring the two parties together and offer an attempt at private mediation. They could have reported on the results instead of taking the easy route and exploiting the minute details of the allegations for ratings.

QUOTE
We only have to look at the blind eyes, deaf ears and silent lips that were utilised when R Kelly's cavorting with an underaged African woman was presented regarding his paedophillic (sp) tendencies.

Your comments regarding R ‘Glitter’ Kelly are spot on. Ligali had a nightmare convincing people to stop buying and supporting the child abusers records. This is despite my publicly telling people that many were aware that he had an unhealthy interest in young girls from the days back when I was in the music industry. Aliyah was underage when he both had intercourse with her and then sham-‘married’ her. Yet Dj’s continued to play his ‘you remind me of a jeep’ type crap and uninformed (or in-denial) Africans sing, dance and feed the sick perverts bank account. One of our papers even went as far as bigging him up because he couldn’t read or write.

QUOTE
I guess when I decide to tell my story of the countless abuse that I suffered in foster homes, together with the hands of my mother, I will be called a 'sell out'?
I am sure there are many other stories out there regarding emotional, mental and physical abuse within our community(in fact, I know for a fact, due to the work that I do as a counsellor). But, as I've stated before, we want to close our eyes to it and look through romanticised, rosy coloured spectacles when it comes to our people.

I and many Africans who share my views would never call you a sellout for telling your tale, we would support you but In all honesty we would only suggest that you consider changing the names of the innocents to make sure you did not write solely from spite or malice. Expose the rotten apples not spoil the whole tree.

There is an existing related debate on this topic at;

http://www.ligali.or...&f=12&t=35&st=0

Prince Hakeem said it perfectly when he stated;
QUOTE
I'm not saying this woman doesn't have issues and that there isn't an underlying agenda on her part, but the fact is the abuse within our community still occurs and it needs to be addressed no matter how shameful, painful or embarrasing it is to many of us. NO subject should be taboo.


@All
Perhaps we can deal with issues about the book/author here but use the other thread or a new one to deal with specific issue of abuse in our community?

Peace and Love

#37 Mogho Naaba

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 01:33 PM



@Toyin

What you said about R.Kelly is so true....I've been trying to tell peeps this for years. So many females love his music too much to face the truth about this man who could virtually have any woman he wants but chooses to f*** someone's underage daughter instead. It's as though one is pardoned as long as they have a few banging hits, even though those hits clearly tell sistas they're worth no more than a car and that they're only good for f******.

People are so quick to jump on a brotha like Krs-One just for his supposed arrogance, yet they big up a mentally deranged paedophile like R.Kelly who's been through more of a metamorphosis than a caterpillar....one minute he's a soul crooner, then he's a born again christian, then he's a cainerowed thug...wtf?!? Too many of us can't differentiate between the heroes and zeroes amongst us. Sad.

#38 yorubagirl

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 02:23 PM

@ Toyin,

clap.gif
As always, your points and observations are top mark and on point. Thanks.
I agree with you a 100% regarding discussing this issue within cultural privacy space, as I am aware, that this particular site is prey to *outsiders*.
I just get so emotive (sorry all) about the ongoing blindness of our community when it comes to relevant issues such as this one. Where the undertones of 'beatings did me well and put me on the straight and narrow' ad nauseum, is simply a justification of punitive mental and physical abuse within some African households. Sorry, but that currency does not hold up for me at all. Especially, the extensive and ongoing damage that has manifested from this abuse.
Two destructive levels emanate from this. Highlighted for me in my line of profession is mental health and/or dual diagnosis regarding substance abuse. That is the bigger picture and that is the reality.
When one digs beneath the reality of how abuse from family members have impacted on individual lives and their families, the real and enduring work that needs to be consistent and upheld is by creating an environment of trust and ongoing support for these abuse survivors.
It will be interesting to see how this all plays out regarding the author and her story (if it is true).

Peace

#39 Sooofresh

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 06:25 PM

Toyin

Yes.........the best way is to deal with it within our community.........the million dollar question is.........does it?

NO.......this has nothing to do with UK/USA enviornment breeding this culture of shame.......i have witnessed it in Sudan, Niger etc

ooooh funny how their is no culture of shame if a wife got caught having an affair etc, or an african male with fraud....................

SELECTIVE culture of shame...........Toyin, this is nothing to do with africans having dignity and respect to keep things *behind closed doors*.........this is simple culture that we should not embrace.

and NO, i have not been abused or anything, this is a just from observation and written primary sources................and this culture of shame effects women more then men, because females are more likly to be abused.

this has to stop.

#40 Toyin

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Posted 11 March 2006 - 03:10 PM

@ Prince Hakeem
QUOTE
It's as though one is pardoned as long as they have a few banging hits, even though those hits clearly tell sistas they're worth no more than a car and that they're only good for f******.

People are so quick to jump on a brotha like Krs-One just for his supposed arrogance, yet they big up a mentally deranged paedophile like R.Kelly who's been through more of a metamorphosis than a caterpillar....one minute he's a soul crooner, then he's a born again christian, then he's a cainerowed thug...wtf?!? Too many of us can't differentiate between the heroes and zeroes amongst us. Sad.

You know what makes me mad… it’s that these f’d up jokers have so much influence in our community that they normalise degenerate behaviour. I feel like a chump for having bought all of his early albums, but what I will never understand is how sistas were singing along to his jeep song when the man was blatantly dissing them.

“You remind me of my jeep, I wanna ride it
Something like my sound, I wanna pump it
Girl you look just like my cars, I wanna wax it
And something like my bank account
I wanna spend it, baby”

Lyrics by: R “Glitter” Kelly, You remind me of something… (a pubescent teenage girl)

I mean wtf????? sad.gif

Perhaps I should take nine bullets in the leg and become the ‘gangsta’ rapper crookleg, I bet you I would then be invited by ‘black/urban’ presenters to appear on Choice, BBC radio and television every week talking about my past life of crime as a pimp and drug dealer and how I found my way home to god through music.

@ yorubagirl

Hey forget me, thank you sis. smile.gif

QUOTE
I just get so emotive (sorry all) about the ongoing blindness of our community when it comes to relevant issues such as this one. Where the undertones of 'beatings did me well and put me on the straight and narrow' ad nauseum, is simply a justification of punitive mental and physical abuse within some African households.

Me too. But in all honesty and as a father of three I must admit that there are times that it is so hard to discipline children without resorting to physical methods. That’s not to say I am in anyway justifying mental and physical abuse, but I often see what starts of as sincere attempt to control persistently challenging behaviour escalating into abuse when the parent and not the child loses control. mad.gif


@Sooofresh
QUOTE
Toyin

Yes.........the best way is to deal with it within our community.........the million dollar question is.........does it?

NO.......this has nothing to do with UK/USA enviornment breeding this culture of shame.......i have witnessed it in Sudan, Niger etc


Sis I’m not arguing with you here. I’m just saying we have to move beyond saying ‘someone’ has to deal with it and step up to the plate and actually deal with it ourselves. It means giving support to those who want to address the issue from a sincere desire to eradicate and not profit from it. With Ligali I can guarantee we will publish any articles submitted to us on the matter and if anybody knows of support groups/organisations we will include their details on the main site. But the issue is that someone has to start the ball rolling.




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